The words you don't say
by bloodylucy
Summary: Lately, Kagami can't concentrate at all when playing with Kuroko. He just can't stop staring at him. To solve that problem he asks him over, but then some unexpected things happen between them. What is their relationship now? And what has happened in Kuroko's past?
1. Chapter 1

_Hello everyone and welcome to my first KagaKuro!  
_

_I denied myself to write this for a whole months of exams, but now here it finally is!_

_It turned out to be really smutty for my standards *blush*_

_It's the first time I use first person, let's see how it works out :) It's from Kagami's point of view by the way_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**The spark in your eyes**

I don't know when it started. I can't remember the moment I first realized it. I just know that it somehow turned out to be like this, the undeniable fact that I can't play basketball with Kuroko anymore.

We just train, it's no more, and it is all just fine. We stand beneath the basket, it's five of us, and Kuroko gets the ball. I know, he will pass to me. I know it even before he knows it himself, but even so it just doesn't work out.

My eyes are glued to the ball, like always, but the moment Kuroko catches it, they wander along his arms, up his neck to his face. His look is stern, he's highly concentrated, his light blue hair spins as he quickly turns in my direction.

He's fast, it all happens in less than a second, but to me it all appears in slow motion. I'm mesmerized and watch the sparkling sweat running down his chin.

And before I know it, my sight turns orange, I feel the hard, heavy ball burying his way through my facial features. I'm ripped off my feet, startled by the sudden pain, fall back and land on my back.

My head hits the ground with a dull sound. I hear voices, but don't understand what they're saying, my eyesight is blurred and everything turns upside down around me.

Suddenly I see Kuroko's blue eyes before me. They look down at me from above, they seem to be only inches away. If I'd raise my head, our foreheads would touch, I think. Now they come even closer and I feel a wet tongue touching my cheek. Kuroko's licking my cheek?

The thought runs through my head and simultaneously my heart beat quickens. Is this really happening? I think about lying here some more, until a voice in my head tells me that this is ridiculous. And my returning eyesight confirms it.

"AAAHHH!", I scream while I get back on my feet even quicker than I had been ripped off them, "TAKE THAT BEAST AWAY FROM ME!"

I try to jump back to get some distance between me and that dog who looks just like his owner, but I just end up falling back on my butt instead.

Number two looks at me with big eyes and barks shortly. I stare at his tongue and get conscious of the wet spot in my face.

"Uahhh!", I take the end of my shirt and try to wipe it away.

The concerned looks of my teammates brighten up and they all break into loud laughter. My eyes search for the real Kuroko, who has the amusement written all over even his face and giggles quietly to himself.

Just what is wrong with me? Why does my mind blank every time I watch him playing?

I try to stand up again, but a second hit strikes me, this time from behind on the back of my head.

"OW!", I shout and reach for the spot. The laughter has suddenly died down.

"What are you doing?!", my heart skips a beat when I hear the annoyed voice of my coach right behind me. I gulp.

"The winter cup is coming up and you can't catch a single pass from Kuroko! You have to be kidding me!", she yells at me.  
Unfortunately she is right. Things like that keep happening for quite a while now.

"I'm sorry! I don't know what-", I want to explain myself, but she won't let me.

"I don't care what it is! I just want it to be fixed! Until tomorrow, did you get that?!"

"What?", I look up to her, still sitting on the floor, and stare at her disbelieving. I want that to be fixed as well, but if it was that easy, I would've done it long ago. How should I manage that until tomorrow?

"You got me! You two will train today until you're fine!", she points at me and then at Kuroko, who seems to be a little startled as well by this order.

"What..?", I repeat myself. It was already pretty late, she couldn't really be expecting that.

"Don't play dumb!", she hits me a second time with whatever she has in her hand.

"Even if it takes you the whole night! Figure something out! You two are important for us and we can't possibly win any game when you keep going on like this! You, too, Kuroko.."

She turns to Kuroko, "you passed to Kagami even though Teppei was in a far better position. You both lack concentration. I can't have that!"

We don't object, because we both know that she's right. At this rate, our team is screwed. And we have a lot of tough opponents waiting for us at the Winter Cup.

* * *

"Sorry, that I've dragged you into this..", I reluctantly apologize to Kuroko in the locker room after the training is over.

"No..", Kuroko shakes his head, "I'm at fault as well. We really should work on our teamwork."

I'm really glad he sees it like that. If I were him actually, I'd be pretty pissed about this whole thing. Just how pathetic is it, that I can't even catch his easiest passes? I know pretty well that it's not his fault at all. But I still can't tell what's wrong with me lately.

"So.. what shall we do? It's already dark outside and the hall will be closed soon as well."

I think about it for some time and sigh as I realize that I only have one choice.

"Wanna stay over at my place tonight?", I ask him.

His eyes widen and for only a little moment I think I have seen something in them. A spark lighting up. But maybe I'm just imagining things.

"Ok then, I guess it can't be helped..", he answers with his straight face, doing his best to sound troubled. But no matter what he says, it always sounds the same. Like he has no emotion at all.

I decide to ignore the fact that that was a rather rude way to accept an invitation – mostly because I'm not the politest guy myself – and lead him to my home.

It feels pretty awkward to walk home with him. I don't know what to talk to him. I still wonder what kind of relationship we actually have. Are we just teammates? Or are we even friends? I can't tell at all. And now that I think about it, I can't even tell what I want our relationship to be.

Is it even possible to be friends with such an apathetic weirdo?

"What are you thinking, Kagami-kun?", he asks me as if he has seen right through me. I flinch and turn my eyes away.

"I'm just wondering.. how I can handle this..", I claim.

I really have no idea what to do about my little problem. How can I if I don't know what it's caused by?

"Me, too", Kuroko says thoughtfully, "It seems like.. like your affected by Misdirection Overflow. Even though I didn't even use it once."

Misdirection Overflow? So he draws my attention on him and away from the ball? That seems to be just what is happening. But why?

"Seems like it.. Can you imagine what that's caused by? Do you do something?"

"No..", Kuroko answers and becomes hesitant. "Could it be that.. you.."

"What?", it doesn't look like Kuroko will conclude that sentence any time soon. He turns his eyes away from me.

"Nothing..", he mumbles.

I don't know what he wanted to ask me, but I have the feeling that it's better he didn't, so I let him be.

* * *

"Here we are", I say as I open the door to my apartment. The moment I step in I realize, that this is the first time I have someone coming over. "I live here alone."

Kuroko walks in, takes off his shoes and looks around. "That's a lot cleaner than I've thought. And it's huge.."

I know that this apartment isn't what you'd expect for a high school student. I don't want to know what my Dad is paying for this myself.

"You're misjudging me", I scold him and he answers me with an amused smile.  
"It seems so."

It still feels awkward, having Kuroko here. And I can't help it but staring even more at him than I do in training. As if I'm afraid that he'll disappear right before of my eyes. But why should he do that? And why would I care?

"Have you already thought about something?", he asks me.

How long did I stare at him now without saying something? This has to stop!

"No.. is there something you want to do?"

For one moment, I feel like I see it again. That spark in his eyes. What is the meaning of it?

Suddenly his face gets some color and he avoids my eyes again.

"No..", he mumbles. It's so obvious that he's lying, but I can't think of any reason why he'd do something like that.

I walk towards him and notice something weird. His whole body is shivering.

"Are you.. nervous?"

He flinches and quickly shakes his head. "It's just.. I'm at Kagami-kun's house for the first time and.."

"But this is no reason to be shivering.."

To be honest, I feel pretty nervous, too. I can't really explain it, but my stomach is feeling weird. It's tickling a bit and the closer I come to him, the worse it becomes. Even though this is my house and there is no reason for me to feel uncomfortable.

"Maybe.. we don't know each other well enough", I can't believe that I'm saying this. After all, I found that guy creepy from the very start, but the words just come by themselves.

"We're supposed to be light and shadow, Seirin's trump card. Maybe we should get to know each other a little better."

I stand right before Kuroko and am more captivated by him than ever before. There it is again, now I'm sure of it. This is more than just a spark in his eyes, this is a whole fire. And it's reaching for me, pulling me closer.

I forget to breath as it feels like the fire is spreading in my body as well. But what is it? It's different than the look he has when he's determined.

Before I know it, I feel his hands grabbing my neck, pulling me down a little more and suddenly I feel his lips on mine.

My heart stops, the fire is burning my whole body now, blood is rushing up to my head. Kuroko is kissing me.

This is a dream, right? When he let's go of me again, I pant for air, in hope I can think clearly again, but it's no use.

"This is not.. how I meant it..", that's all I manage to say. I want to be utterly disturbed, yell around and throw him out, but somehow I can't.

"I'm sorry, Kagami-kun..", he says to me and really looks sorry. But I have the feeling that he's not referring to what he just did. "I've finally reached my limit.. I can't hold back any longer."

He says this in such a serious tone, with the fire in his eyes, and I don't understand. I can't think at all any more.

My body is frozen as he puts his hands on my neck again and kisses me a second time. His eyes are closed and I shut mine as well. I'm split. One half of me wants to remain like this, feel his lips, breath in his smell and wrap my arms around him. The other one tries to awaken me, telling me I should back off immediately.

The latter one had almost won, when Kuroko made his next move and licked across my lips. His tongue was so soft, something twitched in my lower regions, and it was impossible to stop him from forcing his way through my lips.

The tips of our tongues touch and I can't deny any longer, that this fire consuming my body and slowly concentrating in my lower regions is desire. And this desire is nipping the 'I'm kissing a guy'-truth in the bud.

Kuroko draws back a second time and opens his eyes again. The fire isn't gone, no, it's only growing stronger. And now I understand what it is. It's the same desire I feel. Paired with a slight touch of insecurity.

"You're not stopping me?", he asks carefully.

This is my chance. I just have to stop him. Now. But why do I hesitate? Why can't I stop? I feel like I won't be able to turn back after this moment, that I have to decide now or never.

But for Kuroko my hesitation is enough to take the insecurity from his gaze.

"If not, then where is your bedroom?"

* * *

I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what I'm thinking. I'm not thinking at all. I must have lost my mind. This can't be happening right?

I look down to reassure myself that it is, even though there was no need at all. I'm sitting on my bed and Kuroko is kneeing before me, licking and sucking my stone hard dick.

It feels so good, I can barely take it. My mind is that clouded by the pleasure, I can't even wonder why he's so good at such a thing. And even less why he's doing it in the first place.

"Kagami-kun.. so big.. as I thought..", his words sound like moans and they arouse me even more. Although it's so embarrassing I feel like dying.

"What are you.. thinking..?", I pant for air. It's kinda hard to speak.

I watch Kuroko and he looks intensely at my lower half with – to my taste – far too big and hungry eyes. Then he looks up to me and my heart skips a beat when I see his gaze. A gaze I've never seen before.

He stands up and crawls to me in the bed, moving closer as if he wants to kiss me, but stops. Our eyes lock and I don't dare to breath. This side of Kuroko is confusing me and freaking me out, I don't know how I can control him anymore. But it only gets worse.

"Do you want to do it?", he asks me straight forward, with the usual calmness in his voice.

My heart is racing, the blood rushes to my face as the question resounds in my ears.

"You ask me this.. now..?", I stutter insecure. Isn't it quite late to ask something like that?

Kuroko looks at me like you look at a kid that is too dumb to grasp what you're indicating, so he precises his words.

"I'm asking you whether you want to stick it in."

"S-s-stick it in?!", I must have heard wrong. Is he really willing to go that far? He can't be serious.

"You know.. your dick in my-"

"I KNOW!", I interrupt him before he says it.

I don't need him to say it, and what's more: I don't want him to say it.

"Then.. do you want to?", he asks again.

He puts his hand on mine without taking his eyes off me. There's this fire in his eyes again, pulling me in and making me unable to speak.

Of course I don't want to. He's a guy, and he's Kuroko. But my little friend down there seems to be of a different opinion. It seems to turn harder with every moment, it almost hurts. I can't deny that my whole body is craving for him. But still..

"If you don't say anything, I'll take it as a yes, you know?", he says patient and kisses me.

His tongue is touching mine and I don't care anymore. Then take it as a yes. I return his kiss for the first time. I may actually come to like this.

But Kuroko already draws back, smiles at me shortly and undresses his shirt. For one moment I actually think that he's quite hot. What's going on with me?

"But first..", he puts his hands on my shoulders and pushes me down. I easily give in because my whole body feels like jelly. Except for this one part at least. "You'll have to prepare me first."

"Pre-prepare?", I stutter again. What now? I try my best to get used to this situation bit by bit, but it's still going too fast for me. With me lying helplessly on my back and Kuroko lying above me with this mischievous grin, I try to prepare myself for the worst.

"I wonder if you can do it.. maybe I should do it myself after all..", Kuroko looks a bit worried and disappointed.

Something inside me can't take it to see him like that, and even less to be doubted. There's nothing I can't do.

"I'll do it! Just tell me.. what..", I regret my words the moment I say them, but it's too late now. I can't possibly take them back.

"You have to stretch me out.. with your fingers", he tells me and I gulp.

"You mean..", I put my hand on his lower back and let my fingers glide deeper beneath his pants.

I feel his sweet, little ass and caress it quickly while my fingers reach deeper. I feel like I'm getting carried away by all this. Still I hesitate one moment before I really put a finger inside him.

"..like this?", I do it after all.

My finger gets sucked inside him and I look at his face.

"Nh.."

There it is. I can't believe it. In this moment I got the first glimpse of an actual facial expression of Kuroko. His cheeks even blushed a bit. So this is how he looks when he feels pleasure..

It's over for me, there's no turning back now. I want to see more of it, I want to make him moan, I want to make him scream, I want to kiss his shivering lips.

I thrust my finger in and draw it out a bit again. He pants for air and tries to get hold to my back.

I can't tell how much I enjoy it, to hear his heavy breath beside my ear, his sweet moans, and to know that I'm the one who causes it.

I put in a second finger and quicken my movements.

"Ahhhh!", Kuroko sounds pained, but the pleasure is stronger.

I pull down his pants with my free hand and stretch him a little more. I wonder about putting another finger in, but Kuroko rises and stops me.

"It's okay now..", he pants and I remove my fingers, "just leave it to me."

He kisses me shortly and sits up, carefully raising his hips above me. I don't know whether I'm prepared for that, but I don't seem to be able to move anymore. All I can do is lie there and watch Kuroko's face as his body lowers upon me.

My dick has patiently waited for this moment and now it feels like it's about to burst. This feels just too good, I don't know if I can take it.

"It's all in..", Kuroko's voice sounds weird. So soft and calm, but still like it's about to break in pleasure.

It really is all in. I can't believe it. I wouldn't have thought that this is even possible. But it seems to be.

Kuroko's hips start moving. It feels like he's sucking me in even more, I can't breath. I pant and try my best to hold my moans down, but still I can't remember that I've ever felt that good before in my life. It's almost unbearable.

Kuroko's face is high red and the pleasure is clearly written in his eyes. How can that be? Isn't this supposed to hurt like hell?

Suddenly a thought strikes me like a slap in the face. And I wonder how I could have been so stupid.

"You're.. not doing this for the first time, right?", I press the words out with my last breath.

Kuroko seems to be a little startled, he stops his movements and looks at me, the bangs fall in his face. Beneath his hair, I see the look in his eyes change, he grins a little like he's amused by my girlish naivety.

"No..", he admits and bows down to me.

His face comes closer to me, his whole body moving forward and I'm slowly slipping out a bit. When he's only inches away from me and about to kiss me, I feel like a flash strikes my body.

I grab his shoulders, press my lips on his and throw him on his back. Almost at the same time I thrust back in.

He tries to moan, but my kiss won't let him. I catch my breath and quicken my movements. All Kuroko can do now is screaming and trying to desperately holding on to my back.

It seems like we're melting together and I try my best to drown the questions popping up in my head in the pleasure. When? With whom? How often?

No, I don't want to think about it. I don't want to care about it. I just move on until I hear actual words coming from Kuroko's lips.

"Kagami-kun.. my limit..", he doesn't manage to say more, but I know what he means.

"Me, too..", I gasp and we come almost simultaneously.

We both shiver and scream and in the next moment the delight has taken all my strength away. I'm terribly exhausted and breath heavily, I feel like I'm about to collapse any moment.

Kuroko looks even worse, he's snow white in the face.

"Are you alright?", I ask him carefully.

I seem to have overdone in. I start to regret it and that I didn't manage to draw out in time. But he just smiles at me and nods slightly, raising his hand with his last strength to touch my cheek.

"Kagami... kun.."

Having said my name, his eyes fell shut and his hand drops again. He's asleep. What was that now? I really don't understand that guy at all.

I look at his sleeping face and even more questions come up. What was that? How did this happen? What kind of relationship do we have now?

I can't think of any answers anymore, my body gives in and I drop right next to Kuroko. Right now, I don't care. I don't want any answers. I just want him to be mine for now.

So I put my arms around him and draw him closer and before I know it, I'm already asleep.

* * *

_Thank you for reading!_

_The_ _combination of first person and smut is really tough.. _

_I hope you enjoyed it anyways^^ _

_If you want to, you can also visit me on my tumblr (bloodylucy93) :)_


	2. The heartbeat you sleep to

_Good evening everyone! The second chapter is done!_

_It's very different from the first one, which will most likely lead to confusion, so please forgive me for confusing you :D_

_I'm sorry, KagaKuro fans and be welcome AoKuro fans_

_Huh? What? AoKuro?! Yeah, as I said, confusing.._

_Still, today, I even have some lube!_

* * *

**The heartbeat you sleep to  
**

Another game, another victory. It was routine, every day life. When had been the last time they had celebrated a victory? Falling to the floor, exhausted and worn out, but with a smile on their faces?

Kuroko wondered about it as he took his things out of the locker. Now he seemed to be the only one exhausted after a game. The only one happy about their victory. Maybe even the only one enjoying the play.

Suddenly a hand with tanned skin appeared next to Kuroko's locker.

"Hey, Tetsu..", a deep voice spoke to him from behind. "That game was boring. I still have so much energy left.."

Kuroko took a deep breath. Aomine was close, very close. He could feel his breath touching his ears.

"That's none of my business..", Kuroko answered unaffected.

He made a step back, trying to push him away, but instead just fell for his trap. Kuroko bumped into Aomine, who immediately wrapped his arms around him and pressed him tightly to his body.

"What are you saying? This definitely is your business."

Aomine's nose slid through Kuroko's hair and his tongue licked his ear. Kuroko's heartbeat went up and he started to panic inside.

"Don't.. not here..", he tried to free himself from Aomine's embrace, but it was no use.

"Why? There's no one around anymore. Because it took you so long", Aomine didn't show any intention of letting him go, "I can't wait any longer."

"No!", Kuroko's voice got louder as Aomine's fingers slipped beneath his clothes. He couldn't be serious, could he? Doing such a thing, here in the locker room, right after a game.

"What if someone sees us?"

But Aomine still didn't stop. "If you keep quiet, no one will return here. No one will see us, come on!"

Without actually loosening up his embrace, he turned Kuroko around and kissed him on the lips to shut him up.

And of course it worked just fine, like always. The moment Kuroko felt Aomine's lips on his, all his worries and complaints were swept away. His eyes fell shut and he got consumed completely by the deepening kiss.

His mind got completely swept away, he couldn't think of anything anymore, could only feel the Aomine's tongue searching his way through his lips and his fingers slipping beneath his clothes.

But soon, they should be ripped out of their actions by the last voice they both wanted to hear now. Someone cleared his throat right behind them and they flinched so strongly that they let go of each other immediately, their eyes glued on the red-haired standing in the door.

"Whatever you think you are doing here..", Akashi started with a weird tone, "..I'd prefer you'd refrain from doing this in such a place.."

Both Aomine and Kuroko were speechless. They've never seen that look in Akashi's eyes. It was as dark as the night, red flashes of inner rage grasped at them, but still there was something terribly depressing in them, making them unable to breathe.

Kuroko was captivated by that glare, it made it impossible for him to look away. He was frozen on the spot and couldn't move. Aomine quickly grabbed his arm and dragged him behind him, past Akashi and quickened his step as they were behind his back.

"Geez.. of all the people who could have seen us.. this is the worst..", Aomine was rarely afraid, but when he was, it had something to do with their sadistic captain.

"I feel like we both should skip training for a while.. he'll torment us to death..", he mumbled.

"I'm not sure..", Kuroko found his voice again. Somehow, he hadn't got the impression that Akashi would punish them for this. Still, he couldn't get rid of the feeling that this would have horrible consequences. But he couldn't really find the words to describe his misgivings.

"Well, maybe he'll just torment me..", Aomine snorted, "you're his little princess after all."

Kuroko sighed at this statement. He got this often, but he never felt like Akashi was giving him any special treatment. If he was going easy on him in any way, then it was because he deemed him useless after all.

* * *

Kuroko was so deep in thought, he didn't realize where Aomine was taking him until they already stood in front of his door.

"What..? Wait.. you still want to-?", Kuroko stopped moving and was planning to free himself from Aomine's grab, but he dragged him in his apartment.

"What's up with this question? Why shouldn't I?", Aomine closed the door behind him and pushed Kuroko against the wall.  
"To be honest.. that little accident only turned me on more. Don't you feel the same way?"

No, Kuroko didn't. Being seen by Akashi was something that ruined the mood completely for him.

"I'd actually prefer going home now", he answered and turned to go, but Aomine didn't let him.

He pressed him tightly against the wall and looked him in the eyes.

"Come on, Tetsu. Are you really a man?", Aomine asked him with a mischievous smile on his face.

Kuroko felt his hand touching him between his legs and the blood rushed up to his face.

"Oh yeah, you sure are..", Aomine grinned and without another word, he put his hands on his hips, lifted Kuroko up and threw him over his shoulder like a bag.

"Hey.. wait..", Kuroko complained, but Aomine didn't listen to a word he said.

He headed right for his sleeping room and Kuroko started to panic a bit inside again.  
"Why do you always want to do this after a game? You may be not, but I'm tired, you know?"

"I can't help it..", Aomine answered casually, "you're just too sexy when you play."

Kuroko blushed. He was glad that Aomine couldn't see that right now, but with those words all his objections turned into thin air.

"But.. I haven't even bathed, yet", he mumbled.

"Well, if you insist..", Aomine made a big step and changed his route, walking right to the bathroom now.

Kuroko had no good feeling about this, this was weird. Usually Aomine was deaf for Kuroko's pleads.

Before he could wonder too long about it, they were already standing under the shower. Aomine put him on his feet again and turned the water on, ignoring the fact that they still had their clothes on.  
"What's gotten into you?", Kuroko flinched as the cold water touched his skin.

"I just thought about killing two birds with one stone", Aomine whispered into Kuroko's ear as he licked across it.

Kuroko gasped for air and swallowed some water, making him cough.

"Hey, hey, don't die on me there. Need some mouth-to-mouth?", Aomine smirked and kissed him.

The kiss was so oppressive, that it became even harder for Kuroko to breathe. When Aomine let go, he took a deep breath.

"That's not how mouth-to-mouth works..", he gasped.

But Aomine didn't care, he already started undressing him. The water began to heat up as he pulled the shirt over Kuroko's head, kissed him and started to play around with his nipples.

Why was it, that he always felt like melting when he was touched by that guy? The steam made him dizzy, the mood had returned and took control over his body.

Aomine opened Kuroko's pants and pulled them down, letting his finger slide across the now bare, sensitive spots. Kuroko moaned a bit and tried to grasp Aomine's shirt, but he was about to undress himself now, too.

It was all going too fast for the slightly intoxicated Kuroko. Intoxicated by the heat of his body, the heat of the water, the well-known and appealing smell of Aomine lingering around and his touch.

He couldn't even think properly anymore, but still he understood the sign, when Aomine put his hand on his head and pushed him down.

Somewhere along the line it had become routine, if he had wanted to or not. He went down on his knees, opened the jeans which were already totally soaked and grabbed the almost hard dick.

He licked across it and as it hardened, put it in his mouth to carefully suck it. Aomine buried his fingers in Kuroko's hair.

"You've really gotten good in this, Tetsu..", he mumbled in pleasure.

Kuroko didn't really know how to react on such a compliment. Especially when it still seemed that he wasn't good enough, otherwise Aomine wouldn't feel the necessity to push it in even more.

This was one thing Kuroko maybe would never get used to. Those moments made him feel so weird, like he was reduced to an object. But still..

Aomine's fingers started to slide down Kuroko's back, deeper and deeper across his spine until he reached his butt.

"You better stop now, if you want to have your share", Aomine laughed and grabbed some body oil standing around in the shower for whatever reason.

He put some on his fingers, bowed down to Kuroko and let the two fingers glide into his butt-hole.

Kuroko gasped and tried to find some hold at Aomine's back. In comparison to the water, the oil was terribly cold, and the feeling he got when it intruded his body so suddenly shook him whole.

"Everything's twitching inside you. You can't wait, right?", Aomine was obviously amused by Kuroko's reactions.

Sometimes, but only sometimes, it happened, that Kuroko forgot the core of his relationship with Aomine. And then the memory suddenly came back to him, like a slap in his face, and rarely it failed to hurt him.

At these times he suddenly watched himself doing things and heard himself saying words, he wasn't sure whether he was himself anymore.

"Right..", Kuroko said and reached for Aomine's head. He pulled him down and kissed him.

"Hurry up, already."

Aomine wouldn't be told twice. He pushed Kuroko down on the cold bath floor and moved his fingers inside him a bit for a while, to spread him and the oil. Then he finally removed them, to grab Kuroko's legs and shove something else inside him.

Kuroko moaned a bit pained. The water from the shower rained down on his face and his body, it was strangely stimulating. For a second he thought about literally drowning here in pleasure.

"Hey, Tetsu..", Aomine suddenly said without stopping his movements, "Do you think Akashi is imagining something like this right now?"

Kuroko didn't know what irritated him more: The fact that Aomine thought he would be able to hold a conversation with him during sex, or the fact that he wanted to talk about Akashi during sex.

"Nnggh..", it was no use, Kuroko couldn't talk while trying not to come.

"'Cause.. no matter what he is imagining.. there's no way he can imagine that sexy face you make when I thrust into you."

Kuroko instinctively buried his face in his palms, but it was already too late. He gasped for air and his body shook as he came right after hearing these words, and Aomine followed.

"You're so cute, Tetsu", Aomine grinned, pulled out and kissed him.

Kuroko wanted to die. His body felt awfully good and delighted, but he was also relieved that it was over now.

"Oh no, I can't possibly let you go home now, with your clothes all wet. Seems like you have to stay here overnight, until they're dry tomorrow."

Of course, it wasn't over.

After doing it in the shower, they actually took a bath together to make the waste of water complete. Kuroko almost fell asleep, but of course Aomine couldn't keep his hands off him. Still, Kuroko didn't really mind. To him, the bath, where Aomine would only hold and kiss him, was a welcome break before they were doing it a second time in bed, until Kuroko's body refused service.

He was so tired now, he almost lost consciousness. Aomine wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly. The last thing Kuroko noticed as he fell asleep was Aomine's calming heartbeat and his sweet smell.

* * *

Kuroko blinks a couple of time as he awakes, it's still dark. Why did he wake up, he wonders, because he's still tired and sure, that it's quite early.  
He closes his eyes again, trying to fall asleep again, concentrating on the heartbeat and the scent he knows so well, which always calms him down.

But something is different. Something is weird. The heart he hears beats in a different rhythm, the smell in his nose is nice and familiar, but not quite the one he had expected.

Kuroko opens his eyes again, uneasiness growing inside him. As his eyes slowly get used to the dark, he notices that he doesn't know the room he is sleeping in. His eyes wander to an arm holding him, he doesn't recognize on first sight. It's pretty pale.

Kuroko flinches, his heart skips a beat and in one single move he frees himself from the embrace and jumps out of the bed.

He's naked. And to make matters worse, the way it looks and smells here, it's pretty obvious what has happened.

Kuroko stares at the red-haired guy lying there peacefully and snoring silently. Just what is he doing? That's Kagami lying there, the guy from his class and his basketball club. The guy he has pretty much forced into sleeping with him only a few hours ago.

How come he was standing in front of the bed now, getting a bad conscience because of some weird dream?

As he orders dreams and memories inside of his head, it becomes just too clear to him that there is no reason for his heartbeat to overturn now. But still he needs a while to calm down again enough to crawl back in the bed to Kagami.

Kagami certainly has a deep sleep, he doesn't even wake up as Kuroko pushes him on his back and looks at his sleeping face.

"Kagami-kun..", he whispers and strokes his face.

For one second, he has Aomine's face in front of his inner eye, but he quickly shakes his head to chase it away. A dream is a dream, past is past and present is Kagami.

Right, it is Kagami's smell he wants to be familiar with, it is Kagami's heartbeat he wants to be calmed down by. He slips beneath the blanket again and lays his head on Kagami's breast.

He will listen to this beautiful heart beat until morning breaks.

* * *

_Are you confused? I'd like to know whether I managed to confuse people :D_

_Again, sorry, KagaKuro fangirls.. more of those two in the next chapter!_

_Also visit me on tumblr (bloodylucy93) if you like! See you then!_


	3. The feelings I don't understand

_So? Did you already recover from the great confusion in the last chapter?  
_

_Then we can get back to our poor, even more confused Kagami again._

_Confusion! Confusion everywhere! _  
_

_I hope you'll enjoy it anyway!_

* * *

**The feelings I don't understand**

The bright light of the morning sun tickles my face and makes my eyes blink a couple of times. My body aches and feels worn out, even after the long deep sleep.  
It's really weird, like I had really hard training right before falling asleep, but I'm actually pretty sure that I hadn't.

My breast feels heavy, I can't breathe that easily. It feels like something is lying on it. I slowly open my eyes, blinded by the light, and notice that there is really something resting on my breast. It's light blue, almost white in the sunshine, and looks as smooth as silk.

Suddenly it strikes me like a flash, as I realize that this is a head, and not just some head. I flinch and the next moment I sit straight in my bed.

Kuroko, ruggedly woken, rises up and wipes his eyes. He sits up and moans a bit groggy. He's naked. I'm naked. Oh god. Oh shit.

He opens his eyes and looks at me. My heart stops for a moment and I try to read his expression to find out whether he feels just like me, but he doesn't seem to be shocked at all.

In the contrary, he suddenly bows over to me, his eyes half closed.

"Good morning..", he mumbles as he puts his lips onto mine.

It's a kiss, a good morning kiss. My heart races as the memories of the night suddenly return to my mind. I see it all clearly in front of me, that spark in his eyes, his blushed face, I can almost feel that sensation when he..

I draw back and gasp for air. Oh no.. why did I have to think about this now? What is happening to me?

Kuroko looks at me a bit startled, then his eyes wander down my body. My lower half is hidden by the blanket, but it doesn't really help much. I feel like I turn high red and try to find out what that guy is thinking.

Is he actually amused by this? Or disgusted? What is it? What's up with this pokerface?!

"This is..", I know that there is no denying of the obvious, especially not to a fellow man, "..totally normal!"

Kuroko doesn't even listen, he has his hands already beneath the blanket.

"I'll handle this if you want", he says with his straight face.

I flinch as he touches me. Since when am I so sensitive? He's bowing down.. does he want to..?

"No, wait!", I try to push him away as gentle as I can.

I really don't want to hurt him, neither physically nor mentally, but this I want even less.

"You don't have to do this! I'll.. take care of this myself."

And Kuroko really looks at me with big, surprised eyes.

"Seriously?"

Then I remember, what he has said yesterday. That it wasn't his first time. Just what kind of relationship did that guy have before?

"Well.. actually we don't have any time anyway..", he notices as he looks at the clock.  
Time? I look at the clock, as well, and freeze. Is it a school day, today..? Oh yes, damn it, it is.

Taking a quick shower, getting dressed and racing to school, all in a condition where I can barely stand and having that guy on my coat-tails.

Of course we don't make it in time, I have never believed that. Still I have to gulp when the irritated gazes of my classmates and the teacher pierce me as we enter the room simultaneously.

He looks at us shortly, then tells us to stand in front of the door for another five minutes as punishment. I sink to my knees on the hallway, hoping to just disappear.

"Oh god.. have you seen their stares? They all know.. they all know what we did. I will never lead a normal life again", I could cry.

The despair is swallowing me whole, I already see the shocked eyes of my parents in front of me.  
Kuroko watches me quietly until he finally raises his voice.

"I don't know what your problem is.. we're both guys, I don't believe they think we did anything like that. Most likely, they think we have played games the whole night long."

I flinch. He's right. He's so right! Just what did I actually think? If two other guys in our class came late, would I even waste a thought on something like that? I'm overreacting. I'm going crazy.

Suddenly Kuroko giggles next to me.  
"You really _are _a virgin."

What is he saying?! The blood is rushing to my head. I want to say that I'm not a virgin any more, but he knows that. He knows that just too well. I blush even more, my head feels like it's bursting.

Why am I behaving like a girl? Why am I, an actual American, being told such things by a Japanese? This is just so wrong.

I don't know how I made it through the classes, I couldn't concentrate at all, my thoughts were somewhere else. Every time the teacher called my name, I had no idea what he had asked me, and I couldn't get rid of the feeling that Kuroko was pretty amused by this.

When classes finally have finished, I suddenly hope they never did, because then it is time for training. As we walk to the training hall, I remember the issues we had yesterday and that we have done nothing at all to resolve them. In the contrary, I'm pretty sure that it's even worse now.

But then, during the practice games, something weird starts to happen. Kuroko, who usually suddenly appears out of nowhere, passes, and disappears again, seems to have an overwhelming appearance today.

Though, it's only me who feels like that. I can almost sense him, always know where he is standing right now and when he's going to act and how. It's like I can sense him, and he seems to feel just the same way about me.

He passes to me, even without looking at me, making his misdirection perfect. And I catch his passes almost naturally, although they catch me by surprise every time.

It's an incredible flow, I'm almost amazed by myself, until I let my guard down for only one moment.

I watch Kuroko snatching the ball away with mesmerizing elegance, what is a weird thing to say, and turning around to pass it in one single movement. And he's turning to me, he wants to pass to me, I know that, but still my body refuses to act.

As I see his concentrated face, how he breathes heavily and the sweat running down his nose tip, I see it again, right in front of my eyes. The face he makes when he..

I freeze. I can't move. I already see the ball flying right at me, already feel it hitting my head, but somehow it doesn't happen. Kuroko changes his direction in the middle of his movement and passes to Izumi-senpai instead, who can barely catch it in his surprise.

I'm pretty sure that Kuroko has wanted to pass to me, so did he notice my lack of concentration and change his mind all of a sudden? And.. did he notice what I've been thinking? It's impossible to read the answers to this questions in his face.

I can't follow the game after this at all, I have no idea what is happening until I hear the coach's whistle.

"Well done!", she compliments us, even though I can't really remember how I deserve this, "Yesterday and today are like day and night! I would have never believed that you really make it that far in only one night!"

Oh, right. Slowly the memories of what was actually going on come back to my mind. It really starts to freak me out that only one single moment, where my thoughts wander off, wipes my mind completely blank.

I don't know whether she hasn't noticed or kindly ignores my dropout right now, but she seems to be very cheerful. Though, I can't tell whether this is a good or a bad thing.

"If you keep going on like that, we might actually win this! We'll pay Touou back! And crush Aomine!", she shouts out.

I can't explain it, but as I hear the name Aomine, I suddenly stare right at Kuroko's face. What am I hoping to see? Some facial expression? Some reaction? Just what and why?

Is it because they used to play together? Or is my subconscious playing around with me?

Anyway, Kuroko is unimpressed as always and somehow I feel both confusion and delight about this.

"But we still have a long way to go!", she suddenly looks super serious and walks towards me and Kuroko.

"Whatever you've done: Continue it! As often as you can! This is an order!"

The blood rushes to my face and my heart goes crazy. Does she realize what she's just asked of us? Embarrassment can't describe what I'm feeling right now. Pictures, pleaaase, out of my head.

Still Kuroko's face still doesn't move a muscle. "I don't mind particularly..", he says.

There's no mistaking it.. he has definitely just said that. I feel dizzy, everything turns inside of my head. What does that mean? So what happened yesterday would happen again? Multiple times? So what kind of relationship do I have with this guy now?

"Kagami? Hey Kagami! What's up with you?", her voice rips me out of my thoughts again.

She and the rest of my teammates look at me worried, two of them seem to have caught me shortly before I fainted.  
"You really trained the whole night, huh? Well, then.. it's enough for today! Everyone, see you tomorrow!"

Is it really sleep deprivation? As everyone gets dressed in the locker room, I sit down for a bit more until I feel like I can stand again. Before I know it, everyone has already left and Kuroko stands right in front of me.

"Are you ok?", he asks me. Is he really worried? I can't tell at all.

"I'm fine..", I stand up and get dressed, hurrying to leave. For some reason I can't take being alone with Kuroko right now.

But he waits for me and leaves together with me, so I'm sure he wants to talk about this whole thing now. Maybe that's just for the best.

I decide that it's best to blame my uncomfortable feeling on that damn dog Kuroko holds in his arms and try to keep some distance between us.

"Today went really good, right?", I try to start a conversation.

"Yes, in comparison to yesterday..", Kuroko answers and gives me a weird glance. It almost seems to be a look of reproach.

"It would have been even better if you stopped imagining lewd things."

I gasp for air. So he's seen right through me.  
"I'm sorry.. it's just..", I take all of my courage together. "We'll do this again.. will we?"

It's incredibly hard to talk about this. At least for me. Kuroko seems to have no problems at all.

"If you want to", he answers.

What kind of answer is this? So it's up to me? How can I decide such a thing? How can I figure out what I actually want?

"We-Well.. it's an order from the coach, after all!", I can't believe I've said that!

"That's right..", Kuroko agrees.

I can't take this. I just can't be content with this. Going on with this kind of relationship, because it's an "order"? No way I can do this.

"Then..", my lips move on it's own, "then are we dating now?"

Kuroko suddenly stops walking and looks at me startled. I really don't know what I'm supposed to think of this reaction, but I already regret that I've asked.

"Well.. to be honest, dating and simply having Sex are two completely different things."

My jaw flaps open, I feel a twinge in my breast, like someone has driven a knife into it. _Simply having Sex, _he said, and I know he is right. It is nothing more, but with those words he has just made us, what I feared the most: Fuck buddies.

I don't know why, but I want to sink down on my knees. I can't help but feeling like a heart broken teenage girl now, her naïve dreams shattered, used up and thrown away. Still it's not like that, I know that, but.. just why does it hurt so much?

Suddenly Kuroko smiles, yes, I think this is actually a smile as he looks at my dumbfounded face.  
"If you want to date me", he starts and almost snickers, "you need to ask me out."

Having said that he turns to go and leaves me standing there, with my eyes gaped wide open and my jaw hitting the ground.

Asking him out? I.. I.. can't do such a thing! Do I even want to? Damn, I don't know! I don't know what I want, I don't know what to do.. this is all just too confusing! And Kuroko is having fun confusing me even more.

"Hey.. wait!", I really don't want him to walk away just like that now, but I'm not sure what to say either.

Kuroko turns around again, waiting patiently for me to say something.

There is no way I can ask him out for a date now, definitely not. But I feel the need to say something. Or to do something.

I look at that stupid dog in his arms, look around to make sure that really no one is near us, and step to Kuroko to kiss him.

This comes sudden, even to me, but I feel like I've been wanting to do this the whole day now. Returning that kiss from the morning.

I close my eyes and put my lips on his. My heart overturns and I feel the passion of the morning hours returning to me. I think about touching him some more, intensifying the kiss a bit, but suddenly loud barking from way to close makes me flinch.

Number two suddenly freaks out, even bites Kuroko in his hand to make him drop him and aimlessly runs away. Kuroko utters a silent cry of pain, before desperately running after the dog.

"Number two! Wait! I'm sorry!", he shouts after him and leaves me standing there without a second glance.

I look after them, a bit shocked and disturbed. Now I hate dogs even more.

I lie in my bed and stare at the ceiling, trying to get my thoughts in order. The memories of the last 24 hours are dancing in my mind, the more I try to oppress them, the more clearly they return.

I've changed the blankets, but his smell is still lingering around and keeps driving me crazy. My body feels weird. I try to calm down, but it just gets worse.

I stare at my cellphone and wonder whether I should just call him. Asking him to come over and officially turning us into mere fuck buddies.

What's the harm? Why am I still hesitating? Is this what he wants? Is this what I want?

I just can't figure myself out, and him even less. What's up with that guy? I really don't understand anything about him, not even why he apologized to that damn cur, even though he bit him.

Damn it! What is this feeling inside of me.. this urge to hold him right now? I keep silencing that voice inside of my head, that tells me to ask him out.

I'm a guy! And I like girls! I don't date guys. But just Sex, maybe.. I guess that's ok. Is it?

My head hurts like hell and I don't want to think about it anymore. I decide, that being fuck buddies is more than enough. I'm fine with it.

Still, I can't bring myself to call him tonight.

* * *

_Poor Kagami.. just how will their relationship develop?_


End file.
